1. We are completely dependent on coitus for our existence. Without it, we become extinct.
2. No one, man nor woman, is satisfied with the selfish results of the act of coitus when the ecstasy is not mutual. Oh, yes! Men are relieved but not satisfied if it is not mutual. Only a male animal would be satisfied. A male human is confounded. There is no reason for it. Or, more exactly, the reason for it is the legacy of the confounded nature of the animal that preceded humanity.
The two genders suffer to similar extents but in vastly different directions because of this anomaly to human life. There is no reason for it.
3. Early humans became convinced we could do no better than an animal at coitus. Mutual coital satisfaction was not even conceivable when we first attained our sentient state. It became embedded so deep that we no longer even look.
4. The prehumans of long ago had no experience, knowledge, or insights regarding the sentient state or improving an act that had been based in the animal's instinctual reaction. Premises 1, 2, & 3 confounded them. They did not have the wherewithal to cope. They had no knowledge, yet, to bring to bear. So they buried the whole issue beneath paradigms of nonsense which have been passed along, generation by generation. Excuses.
Because coitus is so important, we couldn't stop nor could we let it rest. The realization that coitus could be something more never went away. Our sentience will not let us do so. The stupoured state of the animal would not let us succeed. Until now.
We buried the truth in the subconscious where it has festered. Instead, we create pills rather than fulfill our sentient state.
The simple fact is that, like it or not, coitus must continue or we do not. That, combined with sentient awareness of the imbalanced, frustrating situation bent our brains like a pretzel.
5. Being sentient and human, we know better.
We know that the human race is not just an animal. We know we should be able to do better than an animal. We just have never been able to pin it down. (We can; I did; see "Explanations" below)
Unassisted loving coitus (shared ecstasy) needs to become an expectation, just as walking on two legs and talking are. It's that easy, once we rid ourselves of relying on the animal's instincts.
6. Sentient conscious awareness changed everything. It made us aware of what was missing. It also made us aware that it should not be missing. It put the two sentiently aware genders at odds with each other and our animal legacy at odds with sentient aspirations and conscious awareness.
7. Nature provided everything a human male needs to transform coitus into a consistently loving act. As I delve deeper, it is so simple that it would be amazing that it was never discovered before, if it weren't for the brain interruptus during ecstasy. The man takes and woman gives. That is learned in bed. It continues to stunt our development. Selfish results force the stupour to remain.
A man can be master of his own body. We have just never applied our sentience awareness to the issue because we could not tolerate the failure and the awareness. Since the failure was not going away, it had to be the awareness that suffered. It is only a matter of conquering the animal instincts that lead to failure.
8. We created the word love, because our sentience sensed it. We were left to our own devices to create the circumstances to fulfill it. Nature gave us all that was required and left it all to us. Worse yet, lately, we are increasingly of a state of mind that is convinced that love is only gibberish. We have always underestimated love.
Love starts with physical love. While we call anything involving sex, "making love", it is an off and on affair that depends mostly on which bent interpretation of sex one is willing to accept in absence of the most obvious source. Humanity is not complete until unassisted coitus is an act of physical love. This does not abrogate the many loving alternatives that humanity has found. It complements them.
9. Because of the inertia of the animal and self-inflicted obstructions, it became nearly impossible for the male human to contemplate the situation at all, much less realize they are not constrained by the same limitations as animals when it comes to the act of coitus. It is a matter that only sentient awareness can overcome. Men will succeed with ease, once our sentience has a chance to clear away the cobwebs. We are immersed in a delusion.
10. Men remain constrained by preconceptions that lead them to fail by treating the event as an animal would. Once free of the misconceptions, men will succeed with ease.
11. The existing situation renders the male gender, in particular, mad (the female gender gets there by exposure to the madness of the other half of the human race over the last three millennia). Sorry, guys, but you really need to admit this to yourself.
It's not like men enjoy going mad over a lifetime as they repeatedly fail to express their love in the uniquely human manner.
The best of men are still hampered in the expression of the Humanity, even though they accept the burden of failure with some grace.
The worst, well, the worst go completely mad. There is no reason for the male gender to continue to carry the burden of an animal.
For a sentient race, there can be so much more to coitus and we know it. It can become a loving act, not just the rutting of animals. Until that happens, love will continue to corrode into lust, perversions, distrust, delusions, outright lies, madness, and mass destruction.
The physical act of sharing love in a decisively human way initiates the loving, sentient state. Coitus is the crucial act that fulfills our existence in a way that animals could never even dream.
It is not utopia. It is just no longer dystopia. It is Human.
We have clung to the outdated concepts of the animal for far too long.
Coitus is stripped bare of all of its tremendous and essential human potential every time it ends all too soon, which is the most common case. Loving coitus is human. Until we succeed at loving coitus as a race, we remain prehuman and much closer to a demented animal than a sentiently-aware race.
The biggest irony of all is how easy it is for a man to succeed. That is, any human, thinking male. The male gender is so certain of failure that it has never accepted the concept that they an succeed. A lot of the ongoing failure is caught up in just that.
To summarize: we cannot live in a sentient manner with coitus in its animal rendition and we certainly cannot exist without coitus. We remain caught within the bizarre world of the animal's stupour, far from the magnificent existence that a sentient, loving landscape can provide.
The phrase "we are only human" says it all. It is the most offensive phrase ever created and, so far, we deserve it. To state it accurately, though, would be to say "we are only prehuman." I look forward to the day that we say, "Omigoodness, we are human!"
A race was born with far too much intellect and capability for an animal's circumstances, along with an ongoing and increasing bent towards emotional upheaval.
The race was also given the key to exceed the expectations of the animal, succeed at life, put away the stupour of the animal, end the ceaseless and stupid fighting, and become a loving, balanced, rational, emotionally stable, human, sentient race. No dystopia.