There are two desires when it comes to coitus, for a human. Please oneself and please one's mate. So far, throughout every sex-based life-form before Humanity (including the prehuman), the two desires never converged during coitus. One gains their own pleasure or their mate's pleasure. That is fine for witless animals. It drives human, sentient beings crazy because we know better.
For Humanity, the first species that can think things through, mindless rutting could never work well. The thought has been grinding away at humanity since our first sentient thought. It is obvious to anyone with a thought in their head that men can conquer this last frontier, as a gender, not just this or that individual.