The Great Conversation

The Great Conversation

There remains a gaping hole in the Great Conversation that prevents humanity from attaining a sane, sentient state.  It causes the madness, the dystopia.

The Road Foreword

The Road Foreword

     All men; that is a human, sentient male; can do something they never believed was possible and always desired to do.  They desired to do it so desperately that it drove the male gender crazy, derailed our sentient state, and wrecked any hope of humanity becoming what Nature always intended:  a loving, emotionally stable and mature, rational, sentient race that respects itself instead of constantly tearing itself down and relying on fictions.  "Omigoodness, we're human" rather than "We're only human" is the vast difference.

     We are so close to educating the heart that it hurts.

     The long answer is a bit more complicated.  I'll get into that in later posts.

 

Uncanny

1. We are completely dependent on coitus (sexual intercourse) for our existence.  Without it, we become extinct.

2. For at least three millennia, the sentient race that is human, with its heightened awareness, has known that there is more to coitus.  No one, man nor woman, is satisfied with the selfish results of the act of coitus when the ecstasy is not mutual.  Oh, yes!  Men are relieved but not satisfied if it is not mutual.  Only a male animal would be satisfied.   A male human is confounded.  There is no reason for it to remain so. 

The two genders suffer to similar extents but in vastly different ways because of this anomaly to human life. 

3.  Early humans became convinced we could do no better than an animal at coitus.  Mutual coital satisfaction was not even conceivable when we first attained our sentient state.  The belief became embedded that there was nothing to be done.

4. The prehumans of long ago had no experience, knowledge, or insights regarding improving an act that had been based in the animal's instinctual reaction for hundreds of millions of years.  Premises 1, 2, & 3 confounded them.  They did not have the wherewithal to cope.  They had no knowledge, yet, to bring to bear.  So they buried the whole issue beneath paradigms of nonsense which have been passed along, generation by generation.  Excuses.  Avoiding clarity drives a sentient race mad.

     Because of coitus' crucial function, we couldn't stop.  Because of our sentient awareness, we could not let it rest.

The simple fact is that, like it or not, coitus must continue or we do not.  That, combined with sentient awareness of the imbalanced, frustrating situation without achieving resolution bent our brains like a pretzel.

5. Being sentient and human, we know better.  

We know that the human race is not just an animal.  We know we should be able to do better than an animal.   (We can; I did; see "Explanations")  

Unassisted loving coitus (shared ecstasy) needs to become an expectation, just as walking on two legs and talking are.  It's that easy, once we rid ourselves of relying on the animal's instincts.  It is the next step in attaining our Humanity.  Nature, (or, god, if you prefer) did not create us to act like a witless animal.

6. Nature provided everything a human male needs to transform coitus into a consistently loving act.  A man can be master of his own body.

7.  We have only avoided developing Loving Coitus due to reinforcement of the stupour by our ancestors.  Since failure was beyond previous generations to overcome, our sentient awareness was sacrificed.  We have avoided seeking clarity in all things because of this oversight.

8.  We created the word love and the words for noble qualities, because our sentience sensed them.  We were left to our own devices to create the circumstances to fulfill them.  Nature gave us all that was required and left it to us.  Lately, we have become increasingly convinced that love is only gibberish.  We have always underestimated love.  While we call anything involving sex, "making love", it is only mutual ecstasy that suits the term.

9. Men remain constrained by preconceptions provided by our animal past that lead them to fail.  Once free of the misconceptions, men will find they can succeed with ease.

10.  The existing situation renders the male gender, in particular, mad (the female gender gets there by exposure to the madness of the other half of the human race over the last three millennia).   Sorry, guys, but you really need to admit this to yourself.

It's not like men enjoy going mad over a lifetime as they repeatedly fail to express their love.  They have just been caught in a trap of initial conditions from which they can free themselves.

For a sentient race, there can be so much more to coitus and we know it.  It can become a loving act, not just the rutting of animals.  Until that happens, love will continue to corrode into lust, perversions, distrust, delusions, obsessions, aberrations, outright lies, madness, mass destruction, and self-destruction. 

The physical act of sharing love in a decisively human way initiates the loving, sentient state.  Coitus is the crucial act that fulfills our existence in a way that animals could never even dream.

It is not utopia.  It is just no longer dystopia.  It is Human, not prehuman.

The biggest irony of all is how easy it is for a man to succeed.  That is, any human, thinking male.  The male gender is so certain of failure that it has never accepted the concept that they can succeed.

To summarize: we cannot live in a sentient manner while coitus remains in its animal rendition and we certainly cannot exist without coitus.  We remain caught at the border of the bizarre world of the animal's stupour, far from the magnificent existence that a sentient, loving landscape can provide.

The phrase "we are only human" says it all.  It is the most offensive phrase ever created and, so far, we deserve it.  To state it accurately, though, would be to say "we are only prehuman."  I look forward to the day that we say, "Omigoodness, we are Human!"

The Human race was given the key to exceed the expectations of the animal, succeed at life, put away the stupour of the animal, end the ceaseless and stupid fighting, and become a loving, balanced, rational, emotionally stable, human, sentient race.  No dystopia.

Thinking it through

Thinking it through

We have yet to admit what sentience entails.  

Our emotional state can mature.  Yet, it hasn't.  We can think.  Yet, we don't.  

When it comes to coitus we haven't thought at all; and the topic of sex, in general, is a confused mess of misdirection and entrenched positions.  

In the same vein, we have yet to admit what love entails.

  A race that lives and dies by coitus will breathe a sigh of relief, once coitus suits our humanity.  Those that have blindly defended coitus in the absence of mutual ecstasy will no longer harass those that decide to find some other way to achieve the life-altering, mutually transcendent experience of sharing that remains virtually unknown for coitus.  The defense of the act of coitus will no longer be necessary once it becomes an act that provides for sharing the loving engagement and ecstasy.  It can finally stand equal with any other form of sex.

     One of the worst obstructions is the back and forth regarding other forms of sex that goes nowhere.  It is so close to the source of the problem that we have fixed phrases and mindsets rather than thinking it through.  Everyone is defending their choice.  We just don't want to think it through because of where it leads: coitus.  

Anything remotely related to the subject of sex is taboo because it all links back to the state of coitus not fulfilling the promise of mutual climax that a sentient race, of course, expects.  There is no blocking the realization, even as hard as we try.  

Coitus has not attained humanity's expectations.  It was too difficult for our ancient ancestors and no one has given it a second thought in three millennia.  Our thinking has been obstructed, short-circuited, derailed from any thoughts that range anywhere near the subject of coitus.

Of course, the mania spread from coitus into every other aspect of our existence.  How could it not? 

    No one reads between the lines of those conversations, shouting matches, and paralyzed positions regarding sex.  What is everyone really fighting about when fighting about sex?  The one subject that is most important is always off the table for discussion: coitus.  We cannot speak rationally about it.  Everyone does their best to purge from their minds the seemingly hopeless knot that coitus represents rather than think it through, much less discuss it.  It is a gaping hole in our sentient perspective.  It obstructs clarity.  

Of late, we have broken through and begun to discuss all of the other forms of sex, to our constant dismay, but coitus never enters the conversation.

[Men need to learn to love a woman <> they cannot learn to love a woman] is the endless circle that leads nowhere, until one realizes that there is no reason that men can't learn to make coitus an unassisted loving act.  Then, the circle is broken.  Finally.  

There is no doubt.  Some, though not all, choose alternate sexual orientations because of this dilemma.  They desire to provide pleasure and love as well as receive it, over any other consideration.

Once Loving Coitus becomes an available choice for everyone, then it no longer matters what choice any two people make.  The choice is not a choice until Loving Coitus exists as an alternative for anyone.

We have the capability to think it through.  We have the capability to succeed - consistently.  We have everything it takes, from the realization that coitus has so much more to offer, to the simple muscle control and mastery required to make coitus a successful act of love by overcoming the animal's instincts.

Men have been trained to fail for millennia and the male animal for a billion years before that.  Animals accept failure.  We do not.  We cannot accept failure and, yet, we do.  Whether we want to admit it or not, we are not built to accept failure.  Men know they should be able to do better.  They can.  They have tried everything within the restrictions inherent in the instincts of the animal.  They have never comprehended (as a gender) that the instincts can be easily circumvented by a sentient mind.  They gave up because they never got beyond the strictures of the animal while being inundated with paradigms of nonsense that spiraled into a hopeless whirlpool of failure, confusion, destructive behaviour, and self-deceit long ago.  

We're smarter than that.  Take a close look at the instincts that drive the quick conclusion and the answer becomes glaringly apparent.  I have written alot about all of this throughout the books (see the post Explanations).  

There is plenty of evidence of men's ability to succeed.  Almost any man alive has experienced it in one uncomfortable form.  I have summarized it as best I can in one post.  It is more than enough to succeed.

For an animal, it is enough that coitus produces babies.  It is not enough for a race whose awareness tells them there's so much more to the act, beginning with mutual ecstasy and ending with a loving intimate relationship that can last and flourish.  That begins to open the vista on our Humanity.  Call it an advanced form of caring, if you please.

Some says, "god made us that way".  It is so utterly stupid.  We were made with the desire to love and the ability to make it happen.  We have yet to do so.  We talk and walk on two legs, but, still, we have to learn to walk on two legs and talk.  We learn to ride a bike and a million other things.  This is no different and we are not Human until we do.

It is just that our thinking on the subject of coitus was shut down long ago.  The pressure to not think about coitus has affected everything regarding the subject.  The researchers even take it for granted that there is nothing to be done because we don't think on the subject.  How stupid we have been.

Consideration of coitus is virtually nonexistent during all of the back and forth hate regarding other forms of mutual ecstasy.  We do our best to think of the most incredible act as something to be purged from our brain.  We curse sex because its most natural form, coitus, is found wanting.  It doesn't need to be. We do not celebrate what should be a transcendent experience for both because we have yet to share that experience without fail and have cursed the lack for three millennia.

"The act by which humanity lives and dies is not up to snuff for a sentient race and there's nothing to be done about it" is the conclusion that broke the back of our Humanity.  The most incredible, remarkable, amazing, celebratory, ecstatic act of existence for a sentient couple and we swept it under the rug rather than continue to face the struggle to succeed.  Religions continue to curse it.  We remain filled with shame and guilt regarding coitus.  We sold ourselves short.  Everyone suffers.

The one act that breeds life does not fulfill the loving potential that any sentient being knows is available.  Without the loving potential of coitus becoming fulfilled, we remain a mad animal.  Humanity has never admitted to itself that the loving potential of coitus is available for the race.

Coitus is accepted as only for making babies.   Our insane simplification of the situation was bred in stupour.  Most of what we espouse is bred in stupour.

    We cannot manufacture or fabricate our way out of the the predicament.  No pill is a substitute for men's humanity and manhood.  The pill is just another form of defeat for the Human race. 

It is nothing more than sentient to make unassisted Loving Coitus work as a Human expects.  It can.  The evidence and proof is beyond doubt.

Realizing that we can do something so important on our own, without props, transforms us.  We will no longer remain a scared, dumbfounded child looking around and wondering what happened as we cross the threshold of puberty.

It is just such a weird situation.  Men are scared down to their roots to confront the problem.  Men have always feared the confirmation that it is hopeless, so they just don't want to talk about it.  No one ever looked with the full force of their Humanity.  Do you see how confused that is?  Do you see how it stunted our thinking?  Everything in our history tells men that it is too big of a challenge.  That is the animal talking.  The animal's take on coitus (and everything else) has dominated the conversation since the beginning.  We haven't begun to bring our sentience to bear.  

Well, you haven't.  After tearing down the walls of obstruction, it was pretty easy to begin to see the way through.  It will grow even easier, once men become convinced the male gender can succeed at making coitus human and loving.  The biggest barrier is the fear to try.

    There is no right answer about our existence until loving, mutual pleasure is the expectation for coitus.  It releases the advanced form of caring that we call love.  It enables the noble qualities that we have chased down through the ages with no success.  It all comes down to the self-respect of a sentient race for itself.  

Right now, humanity is essentially saying, 'we are not sentient or loving' by continuing to act like coitus has no chance of becoming an unassisted loving act.  Loving coitus is a sentient act. It is the initiating act of fulfilling our sentient state. It is the initiating act for humanity to become an emotionally mature, rational, loving race.  

All roads that lead to sentience and a loving state remain closed as long as we cannot realize that the most natural act of creation can also become the most important expression of love between a couple and is essential to fulfilling the concept of love for a sentient race.  

It has been right there in front of us all along.  We know what's missing but have never convinced ourselves that we can be masters of our own bodies.  We are not witless animals.  Love is real.  It's as tangible as an orgasm when the orgasm is shared.  Love exists in a frail, fragile, shadowy form, right now.  That has to change.

    I was reading an aphorism the other day that says it well.  When will the power of love overcome the love of power?  When we finally enable men's self-respect to remain extant throughout a lifetime, thus fulfilling the love and noble qualities that come with our sentient state, by succeeding at making coitus a loving Human act.  Then we will truly become Human.  Then, love will be truly fulfilled.

There are two desires for a human when it comes to coitus.  Ecstasy for oneself and one's partner. Animals haven't the wit to comprehend what is missing nor the wit to do anything about it.  We do. 

Moving Forward

The paranoia of the male gender has been a rock around the neck of humanity, while the worst of the male gender portrays it as its life-saver while raining down destruction on the world.  And, yes, some women are complicit with raining down that destruction.  That does not change the fact that it is men's paranoia that started it all.

As the human race began to gain the heightened awareness of a sentient state, the male gender had to confront the fact that it wasn't very good at coitus (or sex, if the word confuses you).  Each individual male had no idea how good any other male was at coitus because they did not want to reveal their own ineptness.  It confounded the whole of the human race but, particularly, skewed the male gender from anything resembling a Human.

The male gender increasingly began to display a paranoid approach to life.  The individuals have always fought to cover up their ineptness at sex.  The strange results of this fiasco are still with us today.  It starts with the strange false camaraderie of the male gender.  Each man attempting to prove to all and sundry that they are really a man.  This desire to prove themselves has produced so many bizarre aberrations in the male gender that they are nearly countless.

The pose they adopted drove the male gender crazy.  Can you extrapolate from there or do I need to hold your hand?  Sorry.  I am still a bit sensitive about the fact that no one could make the slightest leap to help me thrash through all of the paradigms of nonsense we have adopted to scuttle this very insight.

Do I need to describe the internal battle that has gone on within the individual male that the male gender has never acknowledged and completely bewildered the female gender?  

Can you begin to recognize all of the destructive antics of the stunted, paranoid male?  Can you separate them from the gallant efforts of many men to act like they are wholly human?  

Honestly?  It may take you awhile to penetrate the stupour that it caused.

If you can't put the pieces together yourself with ease, I will need a little encouragement to wallow further in the mess this has made of Human life.

Can you begin to imagine the battle I have had to wage in my own male mind for the last fifteen years to get to the point where I can articulate this?  I can now clearly identify the source of the struggle.  The male gender has been taught for millennia to consider it betrayal to utter a word regarding this unnecessary failure of its gender.

I hope you can see the flaw it has caused in our existence.  It is more than dangerous.  It is a mortal wound to our sentience.  

We are quickly arriving at the point where that mortal wound is beginning to tear itself open.

I know just where this will need to go on ASP.  Maybe now you can get why there is a gaping hole in The Great Conversation.

  

      Men have sought surcease.  They should have been seeking success. 

No getting around it.  Men should have been asking themselves and each other this question all along.  "Why can't I last as long as it takes?"  The answer is, "you can."  If men had asked each other this question, they would have realized a long time ago that they can succeed.

Instead, we have created a tempest in a tea cup that has gone on for three millennia to distract rather than face that which is clearly an unnecessary failing.  We are sentient.

It's always been treated as the greatest secret that everybody knows.  It is something that everyone has only kept from themselves.   We have turned our existence upside down attempting to avoid the beautiful and inevitable conclusion.  Men can love.  We are not Human until it is so.

So, read on.  Or, not.  Keep the secret that is no secret to yourself, just like our dim-witted ancestors have done for the last three millennia.  Let the awful, insidious, unnecessary paranoia of the male gender continue to disrupt our loving nature.   Or, learn to love.

A brief explanation (not that brief)

I've been putting this off for a long time.  I've known that I needed to rewrite Explanations into a more concise form as I fear that the length might intimidate some.  Explanations (the long version) is still available but I thought it would be worthwhile to begin with a short, more straightforward version.

I hope it helps.

I am sure this will be improved upon in generations to come but this is the essence.  It is enough to succeed without trouble though, of course, some effort is required, especially for the first generation to achieve their Humanity.  I even think there is a very good chance that someone else today could already explain it a lot more clearly than I have.  Wish they would.

Explanations

  Let's see if I can put loving coitus into the simplest terms.

The simplest and most obvious observation is that it shouldn't be so difficult.  It isn't.  It is only complicated to understand.   That has held us in thrall of the animal.

There is only one reason the act of love is not.  Pressure on the glands in the crotch of the male.  The pressure is applied by the muscles in the crotch and certain positions of the musculoskeletal structure.  

       It is all about mastering muscles. That is something a human can do and an animal cannot.  That's it.  It is simpler muscle control than talking and less coordination than riding a bike.  The muscles can be easily trained not to respond, except on command. Once men get the hang of it, it's as easy as walking on two legs.

Got it?

    The biggest problem with coitus is that we have never accepted that the beginning of the process of ejaculation can be delayed as long as necessary by a human, sentient man.  Instead, men have struggle to delay the results of ejaculation after it has already begun.

    The muscles in the crotch can be mastered to avoid ever beginning ejaculation.

     I know how difficult it was for me to overcome the barrage of nonsense that has been thrown at the male gender (by itself) for three millennia.

    So, let me capsulize it all.  Besides the issue of crotch muscle mastery, there are a few other items of which every man should be aware.  

Most of this is 'duh' stuff but I find the prehuman is pretty duh.  Especially those that think they have it all figured out.

    1.  If the glands are overfull, it's over before you start.  It is like the bladder.  It can only hold so much semen and may, in actuality, relieve itself when it becomes too full.

   2.  The deep forward thrust (twerking) will squeeze the glands.  It's a musculoskeletal structure issue.  When you twerk (deep forward thrust), you are forcing the crotch into a position that squeezes the glands.  To stimulate the woman, no more than two inch penetration is required.  Save the deep dive (twerking) for the finale.

    3.  The crotch muscles are not involved in movement.  They only seem so because we have paid no attention to them.  They can remain completely disengaged during any movement.  If you don't believe it, try moving your legs with only your crotch muscles.

Since we have never taken the crotch muscles seriously, they are not toned.  They are just like an animal's until you learn to really master them.  There are two ways in which the muscles cause ejaculation to begin.  They are flexed and relaxed with movment (even though you may not realize it).  Secondly, they can just quiver, which is even more difficult to detect. The erotic sensations are essentially a form of tickling which causes the crotch muscles to quiver, unless you can control them.  Either can start ejaculation.  They can be mastered with ease.  Because of the erotic sensations, it is very important to begin your journey into loving a woman by going slow.  As you learn more, as you become more Human, you should be able to increase your enthusiasm.  This is the true rite of passage for a man.

    4.  In order to master these muscles, it is necessary to make them supple and toned and begins to make oneself aware of when they flex and, generally, become familiar with them, sensitive to their actions, and responsive to one's will.

        A.  While I'm sure better exercises can be developed, the following does the job.

        B.  Lying in bed, bend your knees with feet flat on the bed and swing them together and apart.

        C.  There are three different forms of this exercise to perform.

             a.  While swinging them together, tighten the crotch muscles.  While swinging them apart, leave them relaxed.  Do not swing the knees the full extent apart in any of these exercises.  It's not necessary and may not be particularly good for the hip joint.

          b. While swinging them together, relax the crotch muscles.  While swinging them apart, tighten the crotch muscles.  Both of these exercises will tone the crotch muscles and, also, make it apparent that the muscles in the crotch are not involved in movement.

              c.  Swing the knees in both directions without flexing the crotch muscles.

              d.  I do each set thirty times and it takes less than two minutes.

        D. You may want to take longer when you first start the exercises as it is important to assure that you are not flexing the muscles when they are supposed to be relaxed.  Pay attention to what you are doing.  A pause at each transition is a good idea.

        E.  Strengthening them is not the point.  Mastery is.

Stimulation and foreplay

        A crucial point is that stimulating the woman is not as obvious as one might expect.

    The erogenous zone with the most erotic nerve endings is the clitoral nub which is located up to a half an inch outside of the vagina.  This is critical.  If you do no stimulate this clitoral button, it is unlikely you will be stimulating the woman enough to achieve her own orgasm.

All of the woman's erotic nerve endings are within two inches or less of the vaginal opening.  

Note that two inch penetration is more than enough for stimulating the woman.  There is no need to go deeper until taking the finale plunge.  It will initially be critical that you don't go too deep.  That would be twerking.

It seems certain that the importance foreplay will remain for a number of reasons.  It's just that men will be far more interested in play when they no longer flat out fail.  I guess, since the circumstances will change so drastically, there is a chance that the woman will become aroused just as easily and quickly as a man, once they are as fully engaged but, still, the play component of foreplay seems still appropriate and much more enthusiastic.

Edging

One technique that actually seems to work, though it bypasses any effort to actually master the body is 'edging'.  Consider it a shortcut, if necessary, while learning.

The idea is that if you stop all activity when the man begins to become overstimulated, let the overstimulation recede, and begin again, the man can extend his efforts.  He can extend the loving as long as he desires by repeating the process.

It seems to work remarkably well.  More surprising is, after the pause, the span of time and amount of enthusiasm tolerated before ejacutlation seems to increase.

Further thoughts on edging

I am beginning to believe that edging is very complementary to the more sentient rendition of mastering the muscles.  I think there is something further that can be comprehended from a close exploration of edging that will expand the definition of mastery.  I don't think I will get there.

Forms of damage

Self-stimulation

There is no getting around it.  It is almost certain that a man will resort to masturbation at some point, probably very early in his post-puberty life

It is critically important that men learn that, if they self-stimulate without regard, there is a very good chance of damage to their ability to master their bodies and prevent ejaculation until desired.

Habits are hard to break.  So, do not develop bad habits.

Bad habits worth noting are abuse of one's member, overstimulation and not understanding the differences between masturbation and loving coitus.

It can be difficult to achieve climax while self-stimulating.  Basically, a person cannot tickle themselves, which is essentially what erotic sensations are.

The real point, though, is that a man must learn to restrain himself during self-stimulation.  Abuse of his member, in the efforts to attain climax in the shortest amount of time possible (i.e. 'get it over with') can have lasting effects that can trickle over into his efforts on loving coitus.  Bad, bad, bad idea.

Also, the mindset of 'getting it over with' is not a good way to pursue mastery of the body.

More so, the more you can make it like a loving experience with a woman the better.  There are at least two reasons that it is difficult to achieve climax during self-stimulation.  

One cannot 'tickle' oneself.  So, stimulation of the member by using something other than the hand might be a good idea.  No, it's still not the same but may avoid damage.

The other reason is situational.  The positioning and movements vary between loving coitus and masturbation.  For instance,   there may be no hip movement. 

If you have read the previous pages, this should explain well enough.  The movement of the hips, especially twerking, has a lot to do with triggering the beginnings of ejaculation.

Circumcision

I really don't want to get into the mess that we call circumcision.  It is bad.  Period.  Full stop.  If you are of child-bearing age, you should be aware that the doctors may do it without your permission, unless told otherwise.  At least in America.

It won't stop a person from success at loving coitus but it is a sadistic concept and certainly doesn't help anything.  It may or may not make successful loving more difficult.  I am circumcised and I succeeded but I believe my member is oversensitive because of circumcision.  It doesn't matter.  If we ever become human, it will be a thing of the past in short order.

I was just reading an article about how people that have a tonsillectomy at a young age have a much greater chance of developing post traumatic stress symptoms later in life??!!!??

My jaw dropped when I saw the article.  Not so much in shock that circumcision wasn't referenced.  It was just another confirmation on so many levels of the blindness we have acquired as a stupoured animal, when it comes to anything related to coitus.

A few last notes

Be patient, keep up the exercise and become more familiar with your muscles.  Use edging, if necessary, in the meantime.

I promise you, if you are not lasting and you have paid attention to such things as overfull glands and twerking, the muscles in the crotch muscles are still reacting.  More than likely, it is the thought of ecstasy getting in the way of your concentration to make sure the ecstasy is shared by both.  Don't worry, the concentration will also become second nature making the act more fully enjoyable.

    It's just that important to our Humanity that the male gender learns to love.