Life in a teacup

Do you remember those days?  I still can.  That vibrant feeling to which I had looked forward for so long with mounting expectation and anticipation.  The amazing feeling when looking into a woman's eyes in the naiveté of youth!  

Much later (sadly), I 'grew up' to pick over the dusty ashes of my youth.

Gosh, the thought of loving a woman!  The pulse-pounding feeling when I looked into certain women's eyes as the same look was reflected back to me.  

As I crossed the threshold of puberty, I began to realize that something was awry.  It took me another fifty years to figure it out.

Loving a woman; to me, that always implied face to face.  The idea of loving a woman was planted so firmly in my head that everything must turn out perfectly, right? 

All the movies talked about how fine it is to love a woman.  Foolishly, I bought it all, hook, line, and sinker.  The happily-ever-after was a given, right?  Then puberty hit like a freight train.  Vague feelings began to disturb me.  

The shock of attaining puberty totally unprepared for the failure of loving coitus tore me apart.  

How could it be that three thousand years after the human race gained some supposed level of wit, no one had prepared me for that utter failure?

But, still, it was going to be like magic!  Right?  Funny thing.  The magic was missing.

Wow, what a shock.  Everything was not okay.  Research all I cared (and I am very good at researching) and the best I got was, "it's still a mystery!  Good luck!" "Hold on with everything you've got!"

I'm sorry but I'm calling it right here and now.  Our ancestors have acted like morons.

Not their fault really.  The stupour of the animal has been in charge since the beginning.  

Our most ancient ancestors became befuddled and they didn't dare let the befuddlement show.  So, they hid that which confounded them from themselves and their descendants.  Then, they acted like everything was okay.  Right.  Just bizarre.

The animal's proclivities remain lurking in the subconscious while a cover-up of the utter failure of sentient consciousness to address this critical issue was created.  

The cover-up has proceeded to get more complicated and bizarre ever since the first sentient thought was tossed in the bin with prejudice.  

The truth and a question remained hidden in our subconscious.  "How come I'm the only damned one to get pleasure out of this most natural act of sex?  What about the woman?"  "How can anybody possibly call this an act of love until both are ringing the bell?"

Look around.  The disturbance runs deep, far beyond the bounds of insanity.  

Maybe the worst question, "Why do I have this problem?  What about all the other guys?"  As it turns out, somewhere between 75% (official estimate) and 99% (my own estimate; call it 100% for all intents and purposes, since some men figure it out well enough for themselves, but not the intricacies, the underlying cause and impetus that must be understood) of men have the same issue.  

It is only the limitations that were imposed on an animal.  The same limitations do not apply to a human.  We think or, at least, we can, when the blinders are stripped away.  I know it scares men spitless to think about it, but what other choice do you have?  Continue on like a wrecking ball for all of humanity?

    I've shown myself the issue can be overcome.  I am certain it can work for everyone, once they quit freaking out and ignoring the issue.  What's the worst that could happen, if by some unimaginable consequence, I'm wrong?

    Well, the real worst is that we attempt to cover up the issue and scurry back in hiding.  The next best, under those unbelievable conditions, is that we suck it up, open the discussion, put the facts on the table, and decide how a human, sentient race moves forward.

    The fact is, I do not believe there is the slightest chance I am wrong.  Not just because I proved it to myself but, also, because we are a sentient, highly intelligent, highly motivated race that can think, not just react by instinct, and, I cannot believe that Nature left us high and dry.  I just can't believe it.

    I am certain I haven't had the last say in how to make it work best.  I expect many, many innovations and improvements, once our minds are opened.

    Okay, there is a worse case.  We continue on our path of insanity and destruction, put the hope back in the Box and carry on.  In that case, we are no worse off than we are today. 

The very inhuman response, so far, has been to ignore the issue or, lately, use a pill.  The pill does not substitute for a man's humanity.  If anything it ruins it further.

Neither is a sentient approach.  It just digs the animal's trench that much deeper.  

The desire for a pill, by the way, only emphasizes the desire we have hid from with every breath since the beginning. 

Man's humanity is only unleashed by the self-actualization caused by conquering the animal's witless instincts that have held us back.  On his own!

The long suppression of the subject of sex has been our bane.  It did a number on me.  Until I finally realized it's not sex that is the central issue we have avoided.  It's coitus.  We even avoid the real issue by getting all in a flurry about 'sex'.  Coitus is the problem, pure and simple.

We have been programmed by our ancestors to accept the paradigms of the animal that preceded us regarding the act of coitus and, really, all of sex.  

The issue that men face was never considered, spoken of, or thought about.  How's that going for you?  

If the subject ever comes up, crush it with a mountain.  You can see the results of the decision that we have followed for three millennia all around you.  It has all been inadvertently directed at distorting reality.  It is a mountain of nonsense that we have followed.

The question that has never been seriously asked is, "Why in the hell can't I do significantly better than some damned animal?"  Not by a minute or two, but as long as the woman desires.

We even justified the animals' failure by declaring two or three minutes a success!  It means nothing without the loving of a woman in the way I have always dreamed.  Three minutes doesn't cut it.

Some of the stupid shit that gets by under the alias of "being a man" is appalling.  InCel and all the other thugs come to mind.  Clearly, the stupour runs deep.

Well, I asked that most important question and answered it.  There is no good damned reason the instincts of an animal cannot be overcome.  

Coitus can consistently be a loving act for the human race.  It only becomes a loving act when both take full pleasure in it.  

The clock that ends coitus in a hurry, and ruins any chance of love, can be suspended by a man for as long as desired.  The clock is for witless animals.

One terrible effect of the stupour we have endured because of this blindspot is that it changes men's perception of themselves in oh, so many awful ways.  

The inability to supersede the animal has crushed men's spirit for millennia.  This unmentioned issue has haunted the whole race since the beginning.  The awful feelings of men have been masked with awful behaviour in so many awful ways.  

From toxic masculinity to despair of life; from obsessing about money, power, and fame to pompous facades, it's all the same source.  

The worst is the con job that has been pulled on all of humanity (including men) in order to distract all of humanity from that which confounds us,  And remains broken for no good reason.  We conned ourselves.

We have put on an act like everything is okay.  Really???!!?  All because we have been wrongly confident in the animal's fear of failure, fear of the unknown.  We have made the grave mistake of continuing to believe we are no better than an animal.

This removed any chance of viewing the problem in a rational manner in order to even consider the possibility of success.  We were defeated before we ever started.

It is just so ironic that, as the answer is finally laid out, it's about not using certain muscles.  We made an olympic event out of something at which you win by not using certain muscles.  

That has been a huge part of the problem.  As long as we viewed the problem as an animal would, we fail.  

It is all about overcoming the instincts of a male animal that does it in a mindless manner.

With the brain shut down from considering any sentient thought on the matter, the animal's take on the success of loving coitus was all that was considered.  Struggle, struggle to last two minutes.  It could never work as long as we didn't take it out in the open and take a close look at what is really going on.  It could never work until we took it out of the context of an animal.

But, that's all covered in the last seven books I wrote.  Ten and Millennium are my personal favorites.  Human is, by far, my favorite.  Any one of them explains the necessary Details for a man to learn to make love and be human, as well as how the ludicrous mess has continued on for three millennia.  Yes, I'm sure there is more to learn as we progress as a human race rather than a witless, distracted race of animals with too much brains.

On this single subject and all about its periphery, we have shut down our thinking.  It has affected every single aspect of our existence.

So far, it is the animal that has ruled our insanity while lurking in the subconscious.  

During miserable periods like these, the animal struts across the world stage in all its stupour, like a fool.

I have explained where we went wrong fairly thoroughly in eleven books.

The animal that preceded us trained us not to think.  We froze for millennia like a deer in the headlights.  

We can be in control of our bodies.  

That's it.  An animal can't, but we can.  

When we quit going at it like an animal and use the higher functions that Nature provided to a sentient race, we win.  

When we combine thinking with the rest of the gifts that Nature provided, we win.  We become human.

It's not some superpower that some men have and some men don't.  Any sentient male can succeed at loving coitus.  Some few can last a few minutes today.  

Some men certainly learned before, right?  Why hasn't it become common knowledge?  

Nobody was listening.  The curse we laid on sex has spun our heads for three millennia.  

It does not take some super-intellect or super-muscles to learn to love.

We have only been acting out the part of a sentient race because we couldn't quite put all of the pieces together.  

All because of one simple act of love that is only complicated to understand.  It is dead easy to implement.  You're welcome.

It is time to be human.  It's time to lay that curse on sex to rest.  Sex should be a loving act.  Coitus should be a celebration of life.  The real trouble is that making the act of coitus a loving engagement requires something more from the male.  It is simple, in retrospect but bewildering until the whole is understood.

  Nature provided the most brilliant superstructure to transform the most wondrous event of existence (creating life) into a fulfilling, loving event that animals could never even imagine (creating love).  For a sentient race, it is as much about creating love as it is creating life.  We just weren't paying attention.  We were off in the woods making shit up, instead. 

This was crafted to get through the thickest pate.  I hope it does.  Last chance.

Otherwise, tell it to the lilies.

Winsome Way

The Winsome Way

By Whickwithy

           P.S.

       The human race must self-actualize. It begins with men becoming human.

Gaining clarity for myself was a huge step.  Until I could see it clearly myself, how could I hope to convey it to anyone else?  It is all so interconnected.  It is nice just to know that humanity's madness is not a necessary part of the program, even if I never can convey it to anyone.

We have been trained well to remain an animal and abandon our sentience.

It hurts to admit, but I have not nudged the needle.  Not even a little.  That makes sense now.  It is such a fuzzy picture we have made of things.   

Afterword (of a sort)

Imagine a race of sentient beings that hasn't quite figured out how to become fully sentient.

There is a particular topic which humanity has been unwilling to face.  This has forced a headful of nonsense to be dragged along for millennia.  The race doesn't want to talk about it.  Its emotional state remains in shambles.

First step

To summarize.  Man needs to realize they are so much more than an animal.  All of them.  It's not like an education, as such.  It is like opening the floodgates to our sentient state.

You don't have to teach a man that he can do better than an animal.  A man will know.  You have to teach the animal that it can become a man.  The misdirection of the animal that led humanity astray has deepened into a smear campaign against sentience and humanity.  

The worst culprits are easy to identify.  They haven't a shred of self-respect left.  Altogether, self-respect is in short supply.

The two genders remain at cross purposes.  They remain at each other's throat.  As much as the smear campaign has attempted to blur the issue, underneath it all, there is a schism between the two genders.  We have been going at it like an animal would, never changing anything of import regarding the relationship between woman and man.  

All because the male gender didn't like facing that the act of coitus was not up to snuff for a sentient race and it is their responsibility.  They came up with the cockamamie story that it was all the woman's fault and a million other excuses.  

That is the animal talking.  It's not like that at all.  There is no time limit for a human male, other than exhaustion, which should never be reached.  Man needs to emerge from his cave and face his responsibility.  

        As much as they cringe about it, it is not even difficult, once we remove the blindspot.

That was the start of troubles that have lasted three millennia.  All because we never admitted it openly.  It has remained mutters of rumours.  

Men's sentient realization, their self-actualization, begins with facing the issue, followed by putting an end to the idiotic rumours that men are not masters of their own bodies.

The worst misperception is that they couldn't do any better than a very few minutes at coitus.  That's how animals have done it for a billion years.   They believed they could do no better than an animal.

Women feel that many men are not loving.  True enough.  It needs to be kept in mind, though, that the man has no idea how to make coitus a physical representation of the love he so desires.  So, of course, his love is diminished.  

    Can you begin to imagine what a crushing blow it is when a man reaches puberty completely unprepared for the failure?  Ironically, I am asking this of both genders. 

He loses faith in himself, especially his ability to love, though he can hardly admit it to himself.  His self-respect is shot to pieces.  He replaces it with one of the many masques that have developed.  None of them sentient.

Men never realized that they were just following the instincts to the letter that have burdened all of the animals preceding humanity and has been handed down sentient generation after sentient generation.  Instincts can be overruled by a thinking, sentient being.  Maybe I should explain instincts.  It is the movement that animals do without thinking.

Believe it or not, we can all think. 

It is just a matter of training a few muscles to react in a human, thinking manner, rather than following the instincts of an animal.

Men - that is, thinking sentient male human beings - can learn to love and it starts in bed.  Somehow, the male gender must learn that it is not human until it can perform loving coitus.  It doesn't even matter if he ever performs loving coitus, uses some alternative, or does without.  He has to have a starting point of knowing that it is possible.  In that, his self-respect is transformed into something human.

        It should be at a man's command.  I won't go into the correlation between men's need for control and the loose foundations on which that control is built.

Even if it were not possible to overcome (though I assure you it is), we would still have to face the issue openly.  Any man (or woman) that convinces themselves that the woman's pleasure is not important is pure witless animal.  It is possible.  You are welcome (see Details).  All of the fighting isn't really about sex.  It's about coitus.

I know.  A woman stressed to me just the other day that it is about the affection more than anything else. Until we admit the crippling effect of believing that rutting like an animal, without coital love, does anything other than induce the animal, we are lost.  While I agree with the idea that it is all about affection, in principle, there are two issues that need to be addressed first.

A man's affection for himself dips every time he fails to make coitus the emotionally fulfilling event that we, as part of a sentient race, have every right to expect.  A lifetime of that failure can crush him.  If it doesn't, he has made up a lot of lies to coverup right down to his subconscious, in a false facade of manliness.  That also crushes him.  

As important as they may continue to be for so many reasons, substitutes are just substitutes.  I am not saying that they are not important.  There are plenty of rational reasons why they may be needed, but they are always a substitute.  

Substitutes are more than acceptable.  As long as they are a substitute, not a matter of picking up the pieces in the absence of the sentient act of loving coitus.

Secondly, in order to express affection, a man has to have sustained affection for himself.  That is hard to do when the haunting failure of a man's sentience is staring him in the face.  Not just the coital failure.  It represents the failure of his sentient condition.

So, no, it is all interconnected.  Affection is important.  Important to affection is the feeling of worthiness for that affection.  Our wings remain clipped as long as coitus remains an animal act without love as the tremendous conclusion to the physical event that also creates life.  

Love is the result that we need, in full, to become sentient.  It is the first wholly sentient act that no other animal can even imagine.

A sentient male knows better.  There is no reason for coitus to remain faulty for the human race.  Somewhere deep down inside of each man he damn well knows he should be doing better.  The animal conned us for three millennia.  It is a human act.

Any woman is more than welcome to explain it better but don't try to tell me that the man's failure to transform coitus is not a problem that must be confronted.  The woman seems to have no similar failure by which they can understand the haunting failure that men encounter.

A glimpse of details

It's a fool's game to believe we can do no better than slightly extend the animal's efforts to a couple of minutes when it comes to coitus.  Where did that idea come from?  There is no clock on the loving event of coitus when humans do it.

Uncovering the issues that hold men back from loving a woman thoroughly the way Nature provided for a sentient race was easy.  The  extreme effort necessary is to overcome the delusions we have developed to remain blind for millennia.  The delusions are torturous because, by necessity, they have increased in complexity over time to keep pace with our developing sentient awareness.  It had a billion year head start on undermining our credibility.  

The physiological aspects are interesting, but the answer itself is simple.  Doing it is even easier.  Thinking overcomes instincts.  Any man can succeed at unassisted loving coitus.  

A loving summary

Imagine coitus as a human, sentient race might design it.  It would last until pleasure was achieved for both or exhaustion took them.  That is what Nature designed for a sentient race.  We just didn't catch on very quickly.  

Let me start with the description that I would give a young man who was already aware of the basic principles involved.  It is much simpler to explain, once the background information is understood as he would understand.

I would tell the young man to go slow as he attempts to sense the instinctual reactions.

I might suggest a position that would ease the initial effort of a novice.  That, for instance, might be standing, with your feet spread slightly apart, heels out, standing on the outer (?) balls of the feet as much as possible, with the toes pointing towards each other.  Like up against a wall or over a table.  It may not be the most romantic version of coitus but it would be understood that it is a learning process.

That position is important because it explains two singular points about the coital physical situation.  The first is that it is as much about the musculoskeletal structure as it is the muscle training.  Those are explained in Details which every man, in a sentient society, would know thoroughly.  No need for a book.

The second involves a long story regarding the muscles in the crotch.  He would already be aware of this, also.  The point is to not flex them.  The most surprising part is that those muscles are not required for any movement.  We only flex them because we have not taught ourselves to do any better.  We have followed the instincts.  Nothing but stupid animal instincts.

The position is not that important, otherwise.  It just sets the body in a position from which it is easier to train the muscles while achieving success most easily while learning the new skill of loving coitus is in progress.

That's about it.  The Details are important but, in a future in which everyone knows the details and expects success, my writings will not be needed at all.  There are a few cautionary tales, as well.  The last seven books contain Details.

This sub-chapter would get a rookie through it.  A rookie that isn't convinced it was hopeless and, in some bizarre way, shameful.  It is the failure that makes a sentient being feel shamed.  It is abhorrent that we have lived with that shame for three millennia.

Most of the design features to the body that Nature provided for a sentient race that lead to success have to do with the sentience state itself.  We can sense that there should be something more to coitus and, no surprise really we were right all along.  We can do something about it because of sentient awareness.  We think. 

We have not applied our sentience, therefore, we are not sentient yet.  This has been a lesson in physiology and sentience.

    I will be really pissed if I come back in a hundred years and there are still men that believe it is beyond them.  It is not.  It is all in Details.

The trail

We have been misled by the animal.  The goal is not to last two or three minutes.  Not for a human.  The goal is to last as long as she desires.  A man has not taken on the mantle of his sentience until he learns that he can make loving coitus.  He is in command of his own body.

It's not so much a man proving his manhood as it is a man proving he can think, that he is sentient, that he has finally gained sentient confidence in himself.  That he has gained his sentient self-respect.  

Its very nature rids the race of toxic masculinity.  Confident masculinity will display a man, not only confident at making love, but confident at being human with human characteristics like honour, integrity, compassion and on an on, all powered by self-respect.

        That is what women never lost of their own accord.  Women have nothing undermining their self-respect other than a male that has already lost his self-respect.  This is what I was getting at in the poem "Man destroyed, woman destroyed".  The man is destroyed when he reaches puberty without some resolution to the unverbalized situation of loving coitus.  Women mostly held their own under the pressure and I bow to the whole gender.

All of the fog regarding our existence will lift with the availability of loving coitus for anyone that desires it.

It is just sentient thought overcoming the instincts of an animal.  Nothing more.

How much should be charged for humanity to gain its sentience?  I decided it should be free.  That is why Details is available on this site.  

I will put my usual disclaimer even though it annoys me no end.  This does not mean that every man or woman wants coitus. For those that do, it has to be available as loving, human coitus.  For free.

It is not something available for $299 from your favorite huckster.  It is part of being human.  It's like talking or walking.  Loving coitus has to be so common that its absence is more than unusual in a heterosexual relationship.  There are reasons that a couple may not desire loving coitus but it should not be that loving coitus does not exist.

Without it, we remain an animal.

The difference is that of having the awareness and tools of sentience and actually using them.  Maybe the real difference is the difference between sentience and sapience.  We are aware.  We just have to put that awareness to use.  Then we become sapient to some degree.

Each of my eleven books has been a collection of insights on life for the purpose of understanding love.

Kinda weird how I got here and the route I had to take.  I had to discover how to right the sexual debacle in order to understand love.  In retrospect, it makes sense, actually.

It took a lifetime to understand what was missing because of the terrifically confusing image we have concocted.

I was just thinking of a list of what love is not.  It is not surrender.  It is not validating oneself in the eyes of another.  It is not settling for something less because you become convinced we are not worthy of more after the first few relationships.

It is sharing everything with another being.  Whether the sharing is with one and lasts a lifetime or not is beside the point.  

The physical act of love needs to become an act of fulfillment.  Always.  There is only one exceptional form, loving coitus, and it destroys us in its absence.  

If we walk away from a relationship, it should be with our heads held up, undismayed.  Can you see how avoiding the oft-described dirty, cursed subject of coitus, though it may have been programmed into you as the dirty cursed sex of any kind causes dismay?  It is not sex that is cursed nor coitus.  While the real curse is laid upon coitus, the animal is the curse.  He bamboozled us well. Remedy the situation.

We keep sidestepping the fundamental issue.  Unassisted coitus, in its current form, is not love if both are not fulfilled by the act.  The form of engagement that Nature provided to produce life, the act of life, must become an act of love.  Otherwise, we are lying to ourselves as a sentient race.  Pills do not make us sentient.

Because there seemed no resolution to the fundamental issue of lasting long enough to make it an act of love, we have run from the issue.  We act like it doesn't matter.  We throw up our hands because our viewpoint remains that of an animal.

We were wrong on both counts.  There is resolution and it does matter.  And, it's not solved with a damned pill.  It is our humanity at risk and our humanity that must overcome the issue.

Love's absence is well displayed by the absence of honour, compassion, integrity, empathy, dignity, sympathy, and a host of other characteristics powered by self-respect that affirm our identity as a human, sentient, emotionally balanced, stable race of beings.  Roll it all up and call it love.

There is only one resolution.  There are plenty of bandaids being patched on as we speak but there is only one resolution.

That resolution is not "coitus or die" but, "loving coitus is an option for all."  The lack is so visible it cannot be mistaken.  Its absence is filled with the toxic characteristics of an animal that is too smart to remain only an animal.

The awful characteristics that humanity so brazenly displays today are not necessitated by sentient existence.  They exist due to two circumstances.  

Firstly, we have the view of a sentient race, whether we like it or not, rather than an animal.  Our sentient awareness is aware.  You can't shut it off.

Secondly, our heightened awareness leads to the awareness that the animal's rendition of coitus is not complete.  A sentient race can do better and it knows it.  We are aware that there is something missing from coitus.  Our denial of what is missing is a denial of our sentience.  It is purposely blinding our sentience.  Our awareness that there should be more is betrayed as a by-product and all hell breaks loose.

We are human.  It is ridiculous to believe our heightened intellect and awareness cannot overcome the animal failure.  Once that is understood, our sentient awareness is liberated.  Even just facing the issue is enough to break a lot of barriers but it does not prove our worthiness of our sentient state.  Only loving coitus does that.

We keep viewing existence from the viewpoint of an animal.  And, it begins and ends with coitus. 

Now, it will take a few men taking life and love seriously enough to make the attempt to leap across the chasm of the animal to achieve their sentient state.  The rest will snowball from there.

We have never accepted our sentient awareness.  It is shown in our defeat at the hands of the animal's instincts when it comes to coitus.

We make shit up instead.  Like the idea that those stupid instincts of an animal are sacred or some other stupid nonsense in order to hide our fear.

        What do you think you will regret in your old age?

Goal achieved

I'm kinda surprised.  I've said before that this journey has been bewildering.  I never thought it would take a dozen years or more to reach its destination.

It was more like recovering from exhaustion after each book at some oasis of further understanding.  I think I now have traversed its length.  

It is my stomping grounds now. 

The physical manifestation of love

It's all about the physical manifestation of love.  The physical transformation of the act that creates life that into an act that also creates love.    How could it get any better?

It is not about the books.  They were my journey and I sure hope, with the blinders off, they are worth reading.  I like them.

Once the human race (not this or that individual) realizes it can love, there will be no need for the books I have written, except, maybe, as a historical reference.  

The eleven books might still be fun reading.  I'd love to know.

It will all be easier, once the fog blows away and contentedness with a truly sentient condition begins.

The stupour

When it comes to loving coitus, it is all about the stupour of the animal that we let remain in its absence.  We have been afraid to look closely at the life-creating event that has seemed impossible to transform into a loving event.  

The reasons we are afraid to look vary by gender, only confounding the stupour further.

It might be nice to nail those stories down further but, no worries.  It is only the stupour of an animal.  I'm not sure it's worth a lot of further contemplation, unless it leads to a further understanding of our sentient state or there is a need to understand further our current broken human condition.  I don't think it is necessary.  It's only a stupour, after all.

I guess it's difficult for most people to admit that they have been fooled since the day they were born.  Personally, I was outraged when it became clear, so many years too late.  I guess I just couldn't imagine hiding from something, so I kept digging away.

We will not have proved our sentience until the human race has learned love.

Whickwithy

This will be the last on the subject.  There's nothing more to say.  Either you learn to inhabit your humanity or you don't.  We'll see just how sentient this human race can be.

Point my compass north,  I've got winter in my bones. 

    It kinda cracks me up.  As I reread WW, I believe that anyone that starts mounting their excuses or their quippy repartee as they read will be convinced before they finish reading it.  I like it.