"Fog of a lifetime"

 Fog of a lifetime

In early life I never felt the blows that swirled about

Confounding all the perpetrators, leaving them in rout

Oblivious to their barbs, I carried on

Infractions on my state would never dawn

As time progressed, I sensed a scar; that something was amiss

Still, the cruel and ruthlessness remained to me, abyss

I wandered far, unto the winds, before the mist would rise

Appalled, I found at heart if it, the witlessness and lies

Shedding the accoutrements, I ran upon the wind

Seeking for the source of all the clamoring and din

I still had far to go

A barren desert followed me as I pursued the ghost

Of all the pain and misery that fell about the host

Of angst, in mindless throe

I ripped its mask away from face

And set a true and deadly pace

To see and, then, to show

I'm not sure I have accomplished the latter

A million books

I sit here thinking about new aspects that I could explain at length but, as I said, I'm done writing books.  There's no point.  I've written more than enough.  And, yet, I will continue to point out tiny little aspects as they come about.

I've been wracking by brain to figure out which book is best to change someone's mind about life, humanity, and the human condition.

It's not like that, really.  All of the books contribute to the understanding.  The fact is that a single sentence should make it clear, if it weren't for all of the delusional paradigms we have built up over the millennia.

The most annoying thing is that the delusions we have followed for millennia are not easily clarified.  I'll give you an example.  The jealousy and possessiveness of men.  It gets complicated because one can always find some woman somewhere that has any of these attributes, just like so many others (like ass-holedness; think of some of the awful women in the U.S. Congress).  So, no, I'm not going to get into it.  It's all so complicated and I'm tired of wracking my brain for your perusal.

I finally realize that, if and when humanity becomes human, there will be millions of books written exploring the past portion of our split infinity.  I've done enough of that.

No, I thought I would just continue to rant on some of my favorite subjects, like the books that embrace despair and the attribute of self-actualization.  I don't remember, now, if Maslow's Hierarchy talks about self-actualization.  It should.  It is the trait that the human race will fulfill in order to achieve its humanity, which means he probably didn't have it on his list.  

I self-actualized.  I don't know why, I don't know how, but I self-actualized long, long ago as best I could within an environment that embraces humanity as an animal.

This is what annoys me about the books that go out of their way to point out the flaws in the human.  It's like they celebrate them.  I guess it is just that everyone is so certain of them that they just like to highlight it but it gets us nowhere.  It's like they point to those in order to say, "you see? we are nothing more than animals."  The books of despair, just like the teachings of the ancients, hold us in thrall.  It's just annoying.

Cognitive dissonance

 I have wracked my brain to try to figure out why humanity can't penetrate the stupour and see where we have gone wrong.

Men are easy to explain.  They are scared to death of the subject of coitus and their less than spectacular part in it (from a sentient point of view).  They have been trained into that stupour by paradigms of nonsense and failure to make coitus something human since they hit puberty.

Women continue to confound me.  I visited this feminist library in London, one time.  This was while I was just finishing Sentience and I thought it would be nice to get a feminist view.

I guess, in retrospect, I can't be too surprised.  No one seems to want to let go of their hate, misery, and disillusionment with the prehuman condition.

These women really highlighted cognitive dissonance for me.  They so hated men that there was nothing I could say to penetrate their belief that the problem is men.  Instead of realizing that men have a problem that turns our sentience upside down.  Maybe, just like men, they believe there is nothing to be done..  They believe wholeheartedly that men are the problem and there isn't a damn thing that can be done about it.

I guess part of cognitive dissonance is discussed in Human. When someone becomes convinced of something, without any real evidence, it is almost impossible to dislodge the belief.  

As far as I am concerned, that is most of the prehuman race.  Left, right, or center, everyone is delusioned.  They will believe it until the day they die or their 'friends' convince them to follow some different nonsense.  It's always been that way.

The Nail is a certainty.  I have proved it every which way but loose.  The evidence is all around us.  It all makes sense.  It all ties together.  The only outstanding item is to prove, once and for all, that men can learn to love physically during coitus.  The emotional turmoil of men is all due to that failure to perform loving coitus of a great majority of men.

√

The Naysayers

    I had another fitful night last night after some half-baked shot his mouth off.  I am so tired of caring for a race that remains simpletons.

     I guess I should not be surprised that such a radical idea as that humanity can learn to love should get shot down repeatedly.  I guess, actually, I should be surprised that I can convince anyone of the slightest shred of truth.

    I saw it often enough throughout life.  While involved with product development, it was a common thread.  Me: "I heard that so-and-so was coming out with a new product that would do such-and-such!"  Product 'expert': "No way.  That's foolish and impossible."  

    Some weeks later, "Here's the data-sheet." Product 'expert':  "Anyone can print out specs.  They're probably just trying to distract us from our spectacular product that we just love down to our bones, blah, blah, blah" (that he developed to glory and praise)

    "Here's the product."  

    "Oh, yeah, I could do that!  Easy-peasy."  Actually, it usually goes on a lot longer than that because they would next say, "well, no one wants that product" which will put off realization for a few more years.  Altogether, very annoying.

    

    Anyways, I'm tired of grinding my teeth and wracking my brain to find some way to get it across to some residue of the human race that we can become fully sentient and stable with a mind and heart that is fully educated.  There are a few that seem to have gotten off of their high horse long enough to realize that maybe I'm onto something.  I just have to hope that, among that crowd, some few young men will take up the baton and move it on.

There's nothing left for me to do or, more exactly, there's nothing left that I am willing to do.  I am surprised at myself.  I've never been one to look for a pat on the head or any form of praise.  I've never been that impressed with anyone (yes, there is that one exception) that their praise meant a thing to me.  I guess the flip side is that I never really tried to convince anyone of anything, either.  None of my previous insights on anything were that important.  

    This seems kind of important.  Not only should it be considered seriously by anyone in their right mind, since the alternative is the same old misery and destruction that continues to amplify as we remain a witless animal playing with weapons far beyond our capabilities with which to cope.

But, that's just me.

This is one of those reasons I learned to keep my mouth shut from an early age.  All of the pompous bombast that is thrown around by witless monkeys trying to look impressive was too much for me and any insights I gathered were not that important, anyways.  Accolades from imbeciles?  No thank you.  They may run the show but I've never been interested in the game they are playing, anyways.  Whenever I run into such fools, I run the risk of accruing bitterness.  I'd rather die than become bitter.  To me, they are one and the same.

I can excuse it all as I have done for a lifetime by saying, well, it's just the stupour.  That's not really helping at this point.  I'll just stick with bittersweet and ignoring the imbeciles.  It's worked for me so far.  Anything but bitterness.  That does pretty much necessarily mean I'm done trying to convince anyone with anything new.  There's plenty there for anyone with an open mind to peruse (and, in the case of a man, become successful as a lover).  

This is rather unique for me but we are talking about humanity taking the most gigantic leap that life has ever taken since the first single-cell organism came into existence.  

I guess, also, that makes it much more understandable if humanity never makes the leap.  The number of potential sentient races in the universe that make the leap are probably a fraction of the number of potential sentient races that come into existence.  It's sad to think that the brute animal wins out most often but that seems very likely, now that the evidence is in, to some extent, for the human race.  Like the blind walking right off the cliff rather than raise the blinders.  SMH

Sigh.  Again, I hope I am just being too impatient.  It doesn't really matter.  My part is done.  For good or for naught.

Once again

  Once again, I wonder if I am not being clear and/or concise enough?  Or, is it that no one is willing to think?  

So, I will try, once again.

Humanity is a mess.  I don't think anyone would argue with that but, if so, please let me know.

So, why is humanity a mess?  If you say it's just the way it is, I will throw up.

I can even narrow it down, though it will be a leap for you to even accept this simple statement.  Men are especially a mess.  I don't want to get distracted by getting into whether all men are a mess or not.  They are not.  Some overcome that which should not need to be overcome.

If you are willing to accept that statement, then, why are men a mess?  What could possibly be such a burden for men that they cannot accept their situation?

As a young boy becomes a man, he has the experience of puberty and everything that goes with it.  Maybe there are those that are prepared for the colossal failure of coitus to be more than the rutting of an animal but it seems unlikely.

For a human, consciously thinking sentient being, it is starkly clear that coitus can and should be so much more than a few seconds or a very, very few minutes of coupling.  It should be able to become a loving act.  No pills, acrobatics, appliances, or alternatives should be necessary.

That is the standard that somewhere between 75% and 99% of men experience.

In other words, we have inadvertently accepted far less than our sentient, conscious awareness knows should be possible.

It is possible.  It is easily possible for a sentiently aware human being to transform the act of coitus into a loving event that extends to expressing the man's love for his woman in the most essential way possible.

Because we are consciously aware, the human race will remain a demented animal until it can do what it knows damn well it ought to be able to do.  Accepting an animal's rendition of coitus diminishes our existence.  In many, it diminishes the existence to the point of madness.

The rest, the long, painful, awful path that we have taken for three millennia to get to the point where we can even broach the subject of sex (and, particularly, coitus, though no one besides me has gotten that far yet) in an open manner is in the eleven books that it took me more than a dozen years to write as I broke through all of the paradigms of nonsense that we have accepted, all of the excuses we have used, all of the bizarre complications we have added to a sentient existence for three millennia in order to avoid the glaring truth.  Coitus should be a loving act.

And yet another try

      I've just finished a conversation with a woman ( June 2023, not 2011).  It's not like it really went anywhere but it did reveal more of the female gender's perspective on all of this and, maybe, gave me the explanation I was looking for, indirectly.  As usual, it is a matter of putting into words. 

    The skulking behaviour of the male gender is more evidence that what is wrong is due to men's feelings of shame that they cannot love a woman the way she deserves, the way a human knows should be possible.  The woman was more than content with cunnilingus, which is understandable, considering it is the most human option available today.  The blindspot of the feminine gender is becoming more and more obvious.  They certainly have no idea of the agony of causing the failure to love in the most natural manner possible.

    Just think about it.  For three millennia, there was not a mention of the fact that men were the only ones getting their rocks off regularly.  Just in the last century, with a few individuals making their claim to fame by noting that men should be happy with three minutes, has it begun to become evident that this is true.  Does this give you a clue?  

    Men have been hiding from their failure, bashing through life with a loud clamour in order to drown out the truth of their failure.  The louder the realization of their failure, the louder the clamour they attempt to achieve in order to drown it out.  Distract.

    Note that following immediately upon the revelation that most men barely last three minutes (way low on the estimated percentage, by the way, until a woman decided to do her own survey, which finally put the failure in perspective at greater than 75%, my own estimate remains closer to 99%), was the proclamation by the same 'sex researchers' that there was nothing to be done about it.  That men should be proud of lasting two or three minutes.  Right.  The answer of an animal.

    That gives it all away.

    I know I'm not explaining well but you have no idea just how exhausted I am due to spending a lifetime attempting to understand and a dozen years attempting to explain. 

    It is all just excuses of the animal.  What it all boils down to, it seems, is that humans should be able to achieve loving coitus.  The onus, obviously, is on the man.  Anything else is just an excuse of the animal not accepting that it is far more than any animal.

    Again, goodness help me, I will add that all of the many, many alternatives may have a place in world in which the human race finally realizes that it has the potential for loving coitus.

    The more I look at it, loving coitus opens the door to our sentient state.  Nothing else can get us there.  What is missing is ... so much.  Love, men's self-respect and confidence, women's fulfillment and equality, our humanity, balanced emotions and rational thought, love, clarity, and unity.

    I've explained it every which way but loose.  I really think the most precise and accessible version is Labyrinth.  In fact, I think the opening paragraphs defines it all in the most concise, precise form.  It doesn't explain really but it says it all.  So, I think I'm done.  I'll just have to see what exactly that means.  I don't think it bodes well for me.

    One more shot at making clear the alternative, as well.  Look around.  Do you really think we have improved over the millennia?  Has anything we've done really worked to improve the human race?  The human race.  Not the toys we cook up or all of the other distractions we create.  Give it another millennia to figure out that the physical manifestation of love is all important or do it now.  We can slog on in our usual slow and laborious way and, maybe, we can get there.  Or, take the leap.  Now.

I can surely understand that most people have a difficult time understanding how important the physical act of love is to the mental state of the human race.  They shouldn't, but the conditioning runs deep.  No one is willing to talk about it.  What I really can't get a handle on is whether anyone even accepts just how messed up we are in our current state.  If they do, then, what?  Are they so deep in the stupour that they just accept it?  Ahhh, doesn't really matter, I guess.  I am beyond tired.  I've had enough.

    It continues to mystify me that, when the problem haunting human life is pointed out (as I have done repeatedly for more than half a decade), so few (if any) can see it.  I really believe I have run across a few women that accept the truth.  But, what can they do?  It's not up to women.  It is up to men to resolve the situation.  If I wasn't so friggen old, I could do more.  I'm not.  I can't.  

    Maybe the best evidence is that we don't want to talk about it or think about.  For three millennia, we have been brainwashed into believing that, because animals can't do better, neither can humans.  For three thousand years we have acted like there was no problem.  It's such a ridiculous proposal it glares in the light..  The fact that coitus is mostly an awful experience for all and that it is not even highlighted anywhere makes it clear that it is a problem.  If the fear wasn't so traumatic, we would talk about it.  No one will even mention it.  For three millennia, we have avoided the issue.  Not a mention of it anywhere.  Accepting the failure or substituting a pill is not an answer.  The latter is a terrible misrepresentation of our humanity.

    The evidence blazes when one considers the antics of men.  How can one gender be such a thorough mess, while the other battles against the insanity?  Not that the female gender is very successful at achieving humanity, of course, since they have to contend with the utter insanity brought about by the worst examples of the male gender.  In the U.S., we even have a political party that represents their insane desire to avoid men's responsibility.  How many of those awful men that rant their insanity across the world stage do you think even considers a woman's pleasure?  I can almost guarantee you that not a one of the most offensive males has ever considered the woman's climax.  Unless they take a pill to do it.  It's sick.

    Maybe there is one point that I should have stressed more.  The paranoia so often seen in the male gender has one source.  Each male, unless he has really achieved success, is paranoid due to his failure to some degree.  Naw, I've gotten into that enough.  The brain just shuts down when considering the one and only problem that really matters.  The problem that shreds our humanity.

    Incel and The Red Pill are perfect example of the problem.  They whine about not being able to find a woman that is willing to let them have their pleasure.  Then, find a lot of other miserable cretins that will rally to the cry (or whine).  They call it INvoluntarily CELibate.  The unstated is that they know damn well that there is nothing that the woman gets out of it.  They are ashamed of their performance (because they know damn well they should be able to do better) and won't admit it.  They are the epitome of the central problem surrounding our sick state of existence.  For three thousand years we have acted like there was no problem.  The most rational deal with the problem well, but it is still a problem.  Why can't anyone see this??!?!?!?!

    One last thing to try, again, for a very, very, very short while.  Poetry.  Yeah, I know.  Why bother, right?

    When do I become convinced that I will never puncture the stupour?  It won't be long now.

    I have to add this.  I've been getting some traffic from India Google.  That is so appropriate.  As I have mentioned in so many books, India was the one place in the world, with the Kama Sutra, that attempted to succeed at loving coitus.  There is a tremendous innocence in that and it ripples down through the ages.  So, kudos, once again, to India.  May you help me expand the base of love.

    You know what I'm looking forward to most?  The revelation of the woman.  They are just such awe-inspiring feminism.  Once it is freed ... wow!

    I also think that we will be profoundly moved by just how much control we have over our bodies.

    In the absence of a single other male standing up and shouting, "It works!", I have to consider the alternative.  In all ways, it is ridiculously unlikely that I have some special quality, other than seeing the truth with laser eyes, that made it possible for me to succeed at loving coitus.  More than that, the only real barrier is in the mind.  I don't want to get into that or I'll start ranting, again.

    But, still, I have to consider what happens if the world reads this and no improvement on loving coitus becomes common.  In so many ways, it is still crucially important.  As I mention a couple of sections back, the woman in her awesomeness should be revealed in full.  Why?  Because either men succeed and are, then, free to love with a will, or men are humbled and quit acting like such assholes.

    Still, the context worries me.  If men cannot find the wit and will to love, then we remain animals.  That would just be too bad.  Maybe the humbling of men would be enough but I doubt it.

    And, in actuality, I don't doubt for a minute that, once we remove the paradigms of nonsense from our lives, that men will all be able to love wholeheartedly.  We are HUMAN!  We are not some dumb animals that can do no better than follow their stupid instincts, even though that is exactly how we have been acting for three millennia!

First cause

    This really belongs in 2010 according to what I have suggested.  I really hate to move it, though, as my latest attempt to explain what no one seems to be able to get. 

    One of the most complicated pieces, it seems, for many to understand is that men are the ones that have been inflicted with a problem that impedes their humanity, which, in doing so, impedes all of humanity.  Their difficulty is first cause.  It is that which has dragged us back to the animal since the beginning.  Because we are not suited to be just an animal, it drives us mad.

    Of course, women get messed up as well.  It's been three millennia of nonsense.  No one is going to come out of it unscathed.  

    There is no purging all of the nonsense, unless, like myself, you have been willing to purge yourself of all interaction with the human race for an extended period of time.

    That was before me.  What I am attempting to do is make it possible to purge oneself without as much difficultly.  There really is only one way, though, for us to purge the animal completely from our midsts.  Men must realize that they can love.  All men.  It will, necessarily, start with a few but it has to become the common characteristic of men before we put the pall behind us.  

    It was difficult, to put it lightly, to avoid all serious interaction with humanity for fifteen years.  After a long a grueling effort to purge myself of the worst of the nonsense, I can now mingle and interact, once again.  I can't say I like it.  It's just weird being the only human alive (so far) that can see through all of the madness and nonsense.  What makes it even more difficult is that there is no one with whom I can discuss this all.  No one to whom I can unburden myself.

    So, yes, there is first cause or, to use a term I ran across in the technical world, root cause of our madness.  Both definitions of the word mad suit.  Men are afflicted by it and it spreads beyond men just like any whackadoodle aspects of our prehuman existence does.  Madness is contagious.  Especially when it is half of the human race that has an affliction that makes them feel less than whole.  The prehuman is a herd.  Humans will not be.

    I don't have the slightest doubt as to our ability to overcome all of the nonsense, purge it from our systems completely, once we rid ourselves of first cause.

    I'm guessing this is going to need a lot of rewrites.  That's just the way it works for me.  I am starting to suspect it is more than just me.  It is a matter of discerning human reality from all of the claptrap of the animal we have absorb and maintain.  At first, when I started out about fifteen years ago, I thought I must be crazy.  In context of the prehuman, I am crazy.  I accept never accepted much of the nonsense of the prehuman which made me an outsider.  A true Stranger in a Strange Land.  Of course, I got caught up in some of it to some extent but I could never commit myself to the idiocy of the prehuman condition.

    It is just so strange.  We know all about it.  Somehow, we know what it means to be human.  We even put a lot of it into words, like the noble characteristics.  Maybe it is just a matter of the stupour that makes it so difficult.  Maybe it's just that we have trained ourselves not to think for so very long.

    I hope I have made it easier for everyone to see from a sentient perspective.  Certainly, Details is crucial.  I think there is a foundation, beyond Details, that I have provided that also is helpful.  Hopefully, Human alone will contain enough for anyone to overcome the nonsense or, at least, begin to question it.

    I guess I still worry about anyone trying to engage with prehumans while becoming human.  I'm not sure I could have done it.  If I had not gone into virtual isolation for fifteen years, I never would have gotten here.  Maybe it is easier with a roadmap.  That is my hope.  I hope that is what I am providing with Human.  There is no doubt, though, what must happen for our humanity to emerge and flourish.  Men need to learn to love.

    Yeah.  Bet on it.  This is going to be rewritten a lot.

    There's another set of imagery I've used a lot.  Bulletproof.  I think it applies to what I am saying above.  I was bulletproof all of my life from absorbing much of the nonsense.  I have no idea how it happened.  It just did.  I had to shed that armour to delve deeper (the reason for isolation).  Now, I have re-donned the armour in a different way with a different purpose and am bulletproof, once again.  I guess I would call it the armour of sentience, though, really, so was the first bulletproof armour.  It's just different.  I was going to say much more sound armour and I guess it is, but it doesn't make the interaction with prehumans any easier.  Oh, for one that understood.  The one that always understood.

Circumcision

    One that really disturbs me is circumcision, male or female.  There are a lot of reasons that it disturbs me that I am not going to get into.  The only country in the world that seems to perform male circumcision without a second thought is the United States.  Hint: it is not a christian tradition, even though that seems to be the belief.  It is pure idiocy.  Why it was adopted as common practice in the U.S. is rather disturbing.  It's not obvious and I'm not going to get into it.  It is sick, of course.

In the U.S., unless you ask, your baby boy could be mutilated before you even know it.  So ask beforehand and tell them no.

Madness

     I look around at the madness occurring before our very eyes and so much else falls in place, my own seeming madness included.

    It's not easy to step outside of the perspective that the rest of the prehuman race accepts (though i must say that the latest authoritarian madness is so much closer to the animal than anything even prehuman; call it INCEL in a bespoke suit; it disgusts me thoroughly; it has hit me so hard that I have had to return to my 'sanity music', which I thought I was beyond).

    In order to do so, one has to break down to one's constituent parts.  I'm going to have trouble explaining this, once again.  

    It is not a matter of me being mad.  It is a matter of me seeing through the madness with which everyone is infected and attempting to explain it.  The madness that everyone shuns, even as they enact it.  

    How to explain to a race of beings that are in complete accord that everything is alright (which is one symptom of the madness), that this is the best they can do; how do they finally see that everything is not alright.  It's even more complicated than that because everyone knows things are not alright but it's all been explained away by living through the mess and accepting it.

    A recent insight of mine is how those that are getting by in life try so hard to convince themselves that everything is alright because their lives are getting by, while the truly downtrodden know better but accept their fate.  The former never considers the latter, I guess.  It is all very, very mad.

  I keep thinking about William Blake.  That man exemplifies the situation.  He saw the prehuman condition around him and knew it didn't make sense.  What really sickens me, though, is that, just like everyone else, he played the game.  Ginsberg was just a later version.  He just howled at the mess and took no part in analyzing, speculating, extrapolating that something could be done.  He participated in the stupour of the animal like everyone else.  

    Sorry, but just imagining something nice is not enough.  It could never work.

    I was about to say that you have no idea how difficult it is to not participate in the madness but it wasn't like that.  I just couldn't.  It wasn't difficult at all.  In fact, the observation of the madness from one remove was as easy as can be.  It was the most fascinating puzzle.  Why was everyone so caught up in it?  It only became difficult when I realized the reason why.  Then, I had to try to explain it to myself so that I could explain to the rest of the world.  Sigh.  That has proved difficult.  I don't know that I will succeed.

    I don't know.  It's really the same with everyone for the last two millennia.  Everyone wants their piece of the pie and are willing to tolerate that which is intolerable.  Maybe it's just me.  No, I'll rephrase.  It is definitely me.  Not only did I see the madness.  I saw through the madness.  If I hadn't been willing to take the whole mess by the throat I would have been dead long ago.  I hit a point of despair not long ago due to the growing suspicion that there doesn't seem to be a chance that I will get it across to humanity.  Not in this lifetime.  That was the heart of it.  I despaired that, in this life, there was only so much to be done.  Another life, armoured with the same innocence that got me through this life, is required.  When I can start from the vantage point of youth.  Great Heart said, "No."

    That's the point, though.  I can only hope, even if I see not the slightest shred of acceptance in my lifetime, that it is burbling away in the background and will come into fruition well after I'm gone.

    That's the way it seems to work.  Dead Poets Society and all.  At least, for the prehuman state.  I expect that will all change radically once we attain our clear-eyed sentience.  Sigh.  I am so ready.

  Also, don't mistake me.  I played the game for a while, like everyone, but I just couldn't ever put my heart in it.  It was all such a sham.  It was a matter of naiveté versus innocence.  Something inside of me was always surveying the field and it was not happy.  I don't know how to better explain it.  

    I was always rooting for innocence.  To the prehuman, that probably sounds naïve.  Wake up and not fear a single human?  Crazy, right?  To me, naiveté is the result of something out of whack.

      It means someone out there is trying to bamboozle you.  Is that an expectation that a sane humanity should fear?  Other humans?

    It wasn't like I could say, "this is a sham" at the time, though, under it all, that was clearly what my suspicion was.  Something deep inside of me always knew that something was seriously broken.  While I was figuring out what was going on, yes, I played the game and played it well.  Until I got totally fed up.  I had no tolerance for the games people played.  It just made no sense to me.  Now, I know why.  It doesn't make sense.

    The situation began to break down for me about a decade before I broke free (relatively) completely.  That was also a little more than a decade (call it twelve years) before I figured out what was wrong with the picture.  Coincidence?  If so, my life has been so full of them as to be remarkable.  Certainly some that I consider more than coincidence are questionable.  I don't want to get into the one that always stands out.  I am sure she thinks it nothing more than coincidence (if she thinks about it (or me) at all), but it truly was remarkable in so many ways.

One of the worst parts of the prehuman is that it is so very gullible.  Armoured and informed innocence of the sentient human will be far more perceptive.  We have a built-in lie detector.  It's just been so abused that it is out of order.  

    Innocence, for a sentient human, does not equate with naiveté.  

    I am beginning to marvel at what I was able to pull off.  How in the world did I keep that innocence and never accept any of the nonsense that was thrown out by everyone?

    This is a very interesting time to be alive and, yes, I know the Chinese proverb.  This time highlights another problem of the prehuman condition.  The inept way in which we tried to achieve a sentient sensibility.

    The best the prehuman could come up with was to teach "the humanities".  Look around and you will see how poorly that has worked.  Of course, in retrospect, the problem is clear.  It is not a matter of training the animal to be human.  We are not Pavlov's Dog.  The human has to know in his heart that he is human and there is only one way he (i am using that pronoun on purpose and with emphasis) knows he is human.  He must overcome the worst limitation of being an animal before he will ever believe it in his heart.

    The humanities was a good attempt - for an animal blind to the actual potential.  It reminds me a lot of the way in which women attempted to train men to act like humans.

    Human will tell all as clearly as I can.

My Karmic debt

 My karmic debt from previous lives must have been a son of a bitch, because I have paid like crazy.

At least, I'm pretty sure I've paid off the debt in this life.  Not only did I not gain any personal satisfaction but I also went a long ways towards explaining and pointing prehumanity towards its humanity.

While I guess there is some satisfaction in that, the personal value of it is small.

Final word

Even if prehumanity gets to the point that every man is trained to finds some way in which to share his sexual pleasure with a woman, we will not be human until every man also knows with certainty that he can perform loving coitus.  It is one of the capabilities that our sentient state makes possible.  It is the gift that Nature provided to transform a sentient race from a witless animal.  It is that which raises us above the animal.  It is a crucial part of being human.  We will remain a monstrous animal that spoils everything until that happens.