I would like to address my anger, fury, and rage, since anyone reading very much of what I have written will have encountered it. One has to understand what I have put myself through for the sake of our collective Humanity.
I know just how difficult it is for anyone to accept anything new. I know, better than anyone, just how difficult it is to peer through all of the garbage that we have concocted over three millennia in order to see what is really going on. I know just how programmed we are to run from any mention of coitus in particular and sex in general. Especially men. I know just how it has twisted humanity.
I was fine with that while writing the first book. It was only after Millennia, my fifth book, that it really began to get to me.
That's not entirely correct. My outrage began when I first discovered what was wrong and that not a single man before me had broken open the box to look within. Why me? It infuriated me from near the start. Why couldn't some man before me have discovered it? It just got worse as the intransigency of the prehuman really began to sink in over the years.
I bought 4,000 copies of the first book, Sentience, and shipped them out for free to many stores in America. I took copies of my books to London and New York and spread them around. I sent out copies of multiple books to multiple bookstores. I spread them so that someone could entertain the thought that we could all fulfill our humanity. Not a friggin word from anyone. Call it scepticism or dumbfounded, it has just been annoying how little anyone is willing to think for themselves.
Even after all of that, amidst the first five books, I kept writing because I would put out feelers in different ways to understand the reactions. What were the excuses for never looking under the covers? I came to find the most horrible interpretations of what I was saying because of the paradigms of nonsense. (one exploration I attempted was paying for three Kirkus reviews. Maybe you can guess how that went. It did what I intended. I learned a huge aspect of the nonsense that I had not addressed seriously and was causing blockage) In some ways, it worked perfectly. Kirkus chose an "expert" in sex. That made the reviewer a perfect candidate. They had spent their lives becoming filled with the paradigms of nonsense regarding sex. I learned a lot.
Some of it I pretty much expected. Like the deservedly militant attitude of the LGBTQIAWXYZ crowd. They've taken it on the nose for far too long. Those that have been bold enough to seek some way to love in desperation have been awfully mistreated due to the absence of unassisted loving coitus. Read that last sentence carefully before you go all up in arms.
A visit to a feminist library, early on, was a real shocker. In both cases, I just could not believe how blinded they had become due to the awful pushback they had been required to develop. All because a lot of heteros hate their own animal rutting and, rather than admit it, they lash out at anyone that has found another way. There was one windfall from that visit, painted white pants, but I won't get into that.
But, then again, as I sit here writing a twelfth book that I might never damn well publish (I did), I realize it is the prehuman standard operating procedure. The obstructions to sentient thought ripple through everything. The stupour is immense after three millennia. The Big Lie has infected every aspect of our existence. It is responsible for all of the most horrific prehuman reactions.
(addendum on all of that at a much later date) What makes it so difficult is that no one will say a word, really, on the subjects of sex, much less coitus, unless provoked. So, I had to dig it all out with my first half dozen or so books and a some queries. Gosh, my willingness to 'take pains', in every sense of the word, and the specific route set out for me over a lifetime for the sake of our shared humanity still surprises me well after the fifteenth book.
While I finally acknowledged all of that hate flying around, left, right, and elsewhere, I've never indulged in it. Of late, though, I have gotten a taste of it. Somehow, always, I knew that it taints one's existence far more than it affects the person at which it is directed. So, what is really the point? It's just betrayals that finally gave me a sense of its awful flavour.
It is the prehuman penchant for hate that makes my existence so very painful. It is the primary mental anguish I have endured.
The many and varied, bizarre attitudes I have encountered. SMH. I guess it was just the intransigent nature of cognitive dissonance that staggered me. I was not expecting it. It was everywhere. Somehow I dodged it all (and/or was oblivious to it because I was just too fascinated with this existence other aspects to do otherwise). I thought (silly me) that anyone reading even the simple but fairly accurate views of Sentience and A Sentient Perspective would get it. The silliest thing I did was to expect a prehuman to think for themselves.
Be certain. The cognitive dissonance that we all endure is due to the disturbing nature of all of the lies. Deep down, below the stupour and all of its ilk, there is the truth. The conflict between our sentient senses that make the truth all too clear and the witless lies we endure causes the dissonance in our lives. As long as we (as an advanced, sentient, human race; not individuals) don't face the lies, the stupour and dissonance will remain.
It is just so hard to confront those demons of dissonance, stupour, and lies. Really confront them. They are personal. They are seldom discussed. The big lies remain in the subconscious, untouched. Do couples ever really discuss the real problem? Or, do they almost exclusively rely on dodging the question? Do all that actually confront the problem rely on some 'expert' to tell them that two or three minutes is the best that can be expected by a man, so just give up? So, find some less savory way in which to love a woman because that is the best that can be expected. I must add, that two or three minutes is only the best a stupoured animal can provide. A Human can succeed with ease. The funniest thing is that we already know that. As a sentient being, we come equipped to know that we can do better but are programmed to continue to fail during our childhood. That is what causes the tension that leads to the dissonance and reinforces the stupour.
It is no wonder we are so bamboozled, bewildered, and bewitched.
I guess, if I ever get it across to the point that people are willing to take some action in order to move the human race forward towards the goal of our humanity all on their own (e.g. seriously attempting success, or spreading the word, or sharing one's own thoughts on Low Point (i've disabled comments on ASP) and I don't mean dumbass questions that begin with, "But, what about this or that", that is some minor distraction; or, worse yet, some religious injunction for no better reason than some nitwit dreamed it up, probably two or three millennia ago to avoid delving into that which scares them spitless. If those are your remedial questions, read the books.
I will no longer be astonished at how thoroughly the delusions have been implanted and how people are unwilling to think for themselves. Worse yet, I'm beginning to think that people are becoming further trained to lose interest after 288 characters. That is the stupour in spades. I won't even get into AI or robots and the 'technological Singularity' that so many are relying on to 'save humanity'.
That I have had to deal with that constant urge to scream, "Listen to me, you $#%@*&% idiots and morons!!!" for close to a decade now explains alot about my anger, fury, and rage. I am venting at the stupour that is so difficult to break through, not at anyone in particular. Until the prehuman thinks for itself, the best I can try to do is keep my surface cool and lay the information out, as best I can, for all to see.
So, excuse me if I snap on occasion. It's never really directed at anyone. It's directed at the stupour that you are probably inhabiting. If you are not, please get in touch. It will only happen online, since I will never reveal my true identity to anyone that doesn't already know it. And, yes, I regret all but one who knows that identity.
I have had no tolerance for inane responses at all. They just infuriate me. I only snapped once. There was a very good reason for that. I was betrayed. Long story.
I did listen to all of the blinded responses, though, because the were clues.
My rage, my incompatibility with the prehuman state, is growing. There are so many reasons for it this time. We are getting so close to destroying our world. What is humanity's response? Put more toxically masculine men in charge! The depth of humanity's identity crisis is just beginning to make itself apparent, as well as the depth of the witlessness. Toxic masculinity is making itself felt in a big way.
It would take me another lifetime to make it work if Human doesn't work to resolve it. There's nothing left to say after I publish it. So be it.
There will always be more bits and pieces that could be pointed out. Enough for millions of people to have their say over the next hundred(s of) years. All the same, Human will explain it well enough for anyone that cares about humanity enough to desire to understand. In other words, anyone with half a brain should be able to pick it up and understand. They just need to be prepared to have their worlds changed - to something better. It is presented in such a way that the paradigms of paradox are blunted, less pertinent. I think. I'm not holding my breath.
The fact is, that is true with the first few books, as well. It just took me fifteen books to realize that everyone is triggered to run and hide when confronted with the truth. The books in the middle, between Millennium and Ten? I'll let someone else decide.