I have had this thought rattling around in my mind for at least a decade that I just could never find the right words to explain. Over the last five years, it became clear that it was accurate but, still I could not find the words. It is so important for the understanding of the mess we have made of sentient life that it has always haunted me that I could not put it into words that would explain clearly.
I know I am not there yet but I am close enough to begin the attempt. I expect to be pecking away at this one for quite awhile but I will post it now, anyways. I can only hope that someone will have the wit and insight to catch on soon. It's just that important. So far, I am just scratching the surface and its importance may seem ephemeral. I am certain it is not. It is another part of explaining why it took us three millennia to figure out what is going on. In fact, this may be a good place to try to begin a list all of the reasons that it took so long.
Just the other day, I was writing somewhere 'as women do without effort' and it hit me, once again. I really thought I was there, that the words would come. They did not.
Today, while cruising the only social site that I consider worth the effort (no, not bluesky; and, yes, the site I visit is just barely worth the effort), it finally hit home how to begin to explain it.
The two genders are like two alien races, each speaking in a different language that the other cannot understand. The basic thought processes of the two genders are so foreign to the other gender that they cannot communicate. The perspectives are just that different. The reason that is so is obvious.
Women never disappoint men, when it comes to fulfilling the coital obligation of satisfying their mate. Men almost invariably disappoint.
Women know how to love and think nothing of it. Men have never learned how to love and always feel guilty.
Do you see? Women see everything through a lens in which love is just obvious and takes no effort on their part. They cannot grasp why men have such difficulty with it. Men do not have that lens and, thereby, cannot yet connect the dots. They are speaking in two different languages.
The list of reasons for the three millennia lag:
Women and men speaking in two different languages
Brain interruptus on the part of men during ecstasy
Getting blindsided by puberty later in life; compared to walking, talking, dexterity, etc that are learned from birth
The increasing confusion over millennia brought on by gaining the awareness of lack inherent in the animal's version of coitus due to our sentient awareness before the knowledge was available, so that our sentient capabilities could improve the situation.
Which all led to the paradigms of nonsense which are so difficult to overcome.