Backwards
Our existence was turned upside down by our acquisition of sentience and heightened awareness.
Each time! Every time I feel I have completely understood the madness that we have endured for the last three millennia, I turn over another rock. It is the only great relief I get as I struggle with my frustration after fifteen years, fifteen books, and a ridiculous number of posts later. Is it just that I am explaining it poorly or is it that the blockage is it just that formidable? I think it is both. As I've said so often, it's complex.
What really drives me crazy is there are so many possible paradigms that can be used for people to refute what I am explaining. Did I even pin down the most common paradigms of nonsense or not??!!?!?!
Is it a fear that I am wrong about mastery of the body? Or, just the lurking, insidious fear of some fictitious god's edicts that this life must remain miserable? Have I missed some particular paradigm of import that no one can get past or is it that it is just that difficult to break through all of the paradigms of nonsense to see that we can be Human? Have I said all that is necessary? Is it just up to some folks to accept what I have already said or is there more to explain? Is there another way to explain it that will help people break through the most awful paradigm that limits our existence to that of a stupoured animal?
Just yesterday, I was refining some post or other and one of those insights hit me, again. It was not new but it was a paradigm-breaker I had noted in one of the books. Did I already mention it on ASP? I have no idea. The thought was gone in a moment. Oh, it will come back, sooner or later. There are just so many paradigms of delusion and so many ways to look at it all.
Each time, all of the insanity that I have fought against, the insanity that everyone else accepts and shrugs off as 'just the way it is', as I break through the next level of that insanity for myself, it leaves me in awe.
This time, I have to hark back to my very first book. I'm becoming more and more impressed with that book. I used the phrase 'topsy-turvy' to describe our existence, so far. I have to return to that phrase. It is perfect.
Do you begin to see the details of the Möbius Strip? Coitus is important because, without it, we wouldn't be here. If we were ever to spurn coitus, it would be the end of our existence. Because it is so important and we are extraordinarily aware, we couldn't face our initial failure three millennia ago when it first dawned on us that something was awry. So, we buried it so deep in paradigms, called on fictitious gods to make certain it was drilled deeply, that we have stuck with it at least a couple of centuries longer than necessary.
Coitus remains a shambles, by any human estimation because we are no longer just an animal and, yet, the animal remains in charge.
We are no longer an animal by any estimation, either.
I was just considering the male gender's topsy-turvy predicament. If you dig deep enough into men's attitude, you will find a very confused set of circumstances as they continue to inadvertently attempt to avoid the spectre of their failure that causes them to betray Humanity. "as women do without effort" might be a good post to reference to see how topsy-turvy it all is.
I have said elsewhere that men were remaining loyal to their own gender. I'm not sure that is precisely accurate. As I explain in Dammed River, it was an awful struggle for myself to face, without flinching, the fact that I was not fulfilling my loving obligation during coitus.
Men cannot accept their poor to miserable performance during coitus. Which, by default, causes them to put on the facade of being 'manly' which, in the bizarre world of rutting coitus, means camaraderie with their own gender to convince themselves they are every bit as good as their fellow men, which is not very good at all. Topsy-turvy. They seek comfort in their insecurity regarding the most important facet of being Human because they know they continue to fail.
The rude treatment of women stems from this bizarre set of circumstances.
Deep within the layers of the subconscious, where the animal refuses to acknowledge anything they do not understand, men tell themselves (rather than confront the secret that everyone knows) that it is too much trouble to make the ecstasy shared, while attaining the most incredible experience of a lifetime for themselves only. Topsy-turvy. Selfishness induced, not desired.
Do you see how this unintentionally forces a selfish outlook? I feel I need to phrase it better for you to feel the awe that I am feeing at the way this has twisted our existence in ways you have yet to even imagine. Topsy-turvy.
I remain baffled by those that consider transformation of the animal's version of coitus into Loving Coitus unimportant, though I understand the many different motivations to do so.
It's a matter of choice and recognizing our sentient potential. Once Loving Coitus becomes a choice for everyone, then it no longer matters what choice any couple makes. I really hope you get that. Loving has to be available in its most natural form for any form to make sense. Not because everyone is going to want to share their love in that specific way, but because it is a matter of conscious evolution. I don't think I will explain that further. At least, at this point in time.
It is no wonder men are so confused. As their life progresses and nothing improves, of course, they are going to want to distract themselves from their failure. Those attempts to distract themselves from such a fundamental failure of our sentient existence, of course, spills over into their interactions with everyone, beginning with the woman with whom they desire to be intimate. The failure turns some into selfish monsters. Others, that find another way, feel as if they have settled, even if they know that all the other men are doing no better. They have settled; as long as Loving Coitus is not an option.
The worst part of it is those that never learn to share their love in any physical way, even though they continue to pursue their own pleasure at the expense of women. They go off their rockers and become bitter as they age. I'm not even sure if they ever admit the problem. I doubt it. These guys often end up in charge of our existence or the destruction thereof. This goes a long ways towards making them feel that they are superiour. They get the greatest benefit of life without ever having to share it. Selfishness amplified by their obtuseness.
It sneaks up from behind as he reaches puberty because we have never admitted the problem. It sneaks up on both genders but in such radically different ways.
Think of those first throes of ecstasy for a man as he passes puberty. His mind goes haywire (I call it brain interruptus elsewhere). The ecstasy is nearly all-consuming, and he is left in euphoria. He has no room, initially, to even consider the woman's situation. Then, slowly, as time and his sentience force the issue, the sentient realization that the woman never came near that same ecstasy begins to sink in. For some, it never surfaces but, oh, the damage begins to sink in.
As they are both inexperienced, it's not too bad at first, but the sentient realization grows and grows. No wonder the ancients cursed the knowledge they gained from becoming sentient. For a sentient mind, because we have never faced the issue, sooner or later, all hell breaks loose as the man tries to do better with only the slightest improvement and the woman often convinces herself it's no big deal (less so nowadays, mostly because of the awful behaviour of men. not the lack of ecstasy (maybe) but certainly the lack of a loving spirit in the man they are with).
Topsy-turvy.
If men realized how easy it was, they would, of course, be more than happy to change the circumstances. But, they have been convinced for three millennia by innuendo, preconditioning, osmosis(imprinting), and attitudes of their gender that there is nothing that can be done. So, they run and hide. The myriad forms of hiding made it nearly impossible to pin down for three millennia.
Topsy-turvy.
So, let's take a look at the woman's predicament, as well. Women begin the same journey past puberty with the same excitement as coitus feels like a wonderful experience, just as it has been promoted. At some point, (more and more as our sentience continues to fill in the blanks) women realize there should be more to it. Others dry up and wither away as they justify their lack of fulfillment and shut down all sentient thought (think banned books and you may begin to get the picture).
The joy of the experience, that they have been trained to believe was going to be so wonderful, isn't all that it is promoted to be. Some, at least initially, are satisfied with the arousal they experience. But, there is no betrayal of another in the act. They are betrayed, due to the lack of their own fulfillment. It is the lack of fulfillment of one's partner that utterly destroys the male ego. Thus, women can proceed into emotional maturity (unless they dry up and wither away; then, they only betray themselves).
Not quite so topsy-turvy.
Do you see how backward our take on this has been? The belief by many is that the lack of ecstasy makes women the emotionally mature gender that they represent and the drive for sex is what drives men to become such a horrible gender. Whereas, the truth is that the only real difference is that women betray no one during the most intimate act of being Human and men do. But, women have learned to sense the betrayal that they endure. That has always hurt me so deeply I can't hardly stand it. Men continue to refute it with every fibre of their being. Topsy-turvy.
This would all remain so confusing and complicated, except for the simple fact to which it leads. Loving Coitus must exist for humanity to gain its sanity.